i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
