It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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