I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
