I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize