im about as happy as oj after his trial
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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