I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
