What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
