I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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