Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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