i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
