Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
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Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS