do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
