Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize