Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
