I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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