You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think i have herpe
just one?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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