You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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