can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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