i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
