she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
