i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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