I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
