Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
