a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
