I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
