The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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