There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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