he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
