hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
