sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
