32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
