It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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