Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
