This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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