Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
