i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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