thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
