shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
