i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
