Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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