I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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