i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize