coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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