every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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