and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Randomize
