babies were throwing up all over the place
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
honey bunches of taint.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
