Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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