Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
