Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize