apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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