I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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