these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
