ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
