my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
