Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize