i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
