we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
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He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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