I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
