There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pappa wants mamma naked
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
