My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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