I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
